Where do I stand?

“16th December! Did you hear any bell ringing?”

“Who? Me? What?!”

I tried really hard to answer the question but I really couldn’t recall anything. And I kept thinking…


And I was dumbfounded! How could I forget? How can I not recall!? Everything went blurred… Am I so self obsessed and self absorbed and have turned into those critics who don’t look at themselves but criticize others? Am I turning into a hypocrit or am I already one?  I guess someone has to show me the mirror to make me see where I stand? Am I standing on stable grounds or have I walked blindly into some quicksand and do not know it. I’m scared now! I can’t get over the fact that I didn’t know… I ACTUALLY COULDN’T RECALL!!!

Bangladesh appeared on the map of this world. People started questioning the grounds of the two nation theory on which Pakistan was created.Questions still remain: Where did we go wrong? How could we be so brutal to our own brothers? And the one which still haunts us to death is: Is there a language problem?! Is it a nationality problem? You being a Bengali and I a Punjabi or a Pathan? The question still remains unanswered…

I know I’m jumping too fast but I can’t help it. Just before Eid, we experienced an ethnic cleansing drive. The famous MQM cleaning the streets of Karachi from the “terrorist” Pathans and Afghanis. Again, a language problem?! And the horror struck me… What next?! Driving Punjabis away from Karachi as well? then Balochis? Is not Karachi a part of Pakistan? Then it struck me really hard.. a nail in my head between my eyes… my family has intermarried in every “community”, would that mean that the families will be torn apart??! my family would be torn apart?! Just imagine your kids being taken to someplace else, your wife sent somewhere and you are clueless… Won’t it be painful? or worse, you know where they are but you can’t see them, contact them, hear from them or… Where are we heading?

Now look back at 1971… families torn apart.. thousands still uncertain about their identity… neighboring enemy gaining from your losses and is happy that you split apart… Was there really a language problem or was it all a sham? What went wrong?

Coming back to what happened earlier today. I, myself, unaware of my own history. The realization came as a shock. But I was comforted with a voice in my head which belong to my mentor. He once said that realization is the most important part. Only after realization would you be able to recognize your mistakes and determine the path you would take next…

But… what about the whole nation… We are nowhere near realization… and I’m a part of it…


5 thoughts on “Where do I stand?

  1. Sigh. It was a painful day. Indeed. Yesterday, they re-played the famous scene on TV showing Bhutto tearing the UN security council resolution, claiming the he would not be a “party to the ignoble surrender”… My political, ideological differences with Bhutto are very much intact but I must admit that, the spirit was there in him. Would his son-in-law would ever be able to do that! How graceful Bhutto looked when he walked out of the UN SC session… we retained respect, Asma! And now! What now! Yesterday… on Dec 16, it was unanimously decided by the newly elected govt that NWFP will now be known as Pakhtoon Khua! No they have not ‘formally’ broken apart and inshaAllah they won’t, but they should have at least realised before giving the orders that it was Dec 16!

    Do we even realise what’s going on!?

  2. Reminds me of a poem by Iqbal.. I’ll post it here… nationalism to this extent is going to kill us all.. We certainly have to set our priorities right!And should ask ourselves who we are, where are we going, and what is the purpose of our lives…

    “Na samt ki khabar hai na sitaray ka pata
    Bus chaltay rehnay hi ko ye log safar jante hain”

  3. This post struck me in a different way (other than us not being aware of what happened in history)….and that is:

    The exact same thing is happening now with our tribal area people.. We’re hitting them, and depriving them of their rights. Balochistan main gas NIKALTI hai…and they have gas shut downs !!

    Imagine .. we have learnt NOTHING from history.. and doing the same thing again 😦

    Allah Help us!

  4. You are right. We really haven’t learnt anything from history. And it’s not ancient history, our parents have lived through that horror…
    Allah rehem kare

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