I don’t know why but the feeling of butterflies in my stomach, the racing heart rate and the constant buzzing of my brain is not letting me have enough sleep. What has happened which is making me so fidgety and so anxious? He was about to be hanged but the whole poltical scenario changed after his confession was aired on the television and not only that, he named big names who were involved in drenching the soil with the blood of innocent people.

It was an anticipated event because Altaf Hussain, the leader of MQM, denied ever talking to him or knowing him and hence what would have been the reaction of those who support MQM… but alas we will never know I guess. But this has indeed created doubts and questions in the minds of those who support them that how far will he go in order to protect himself. Will he deny ever having a contact with the Rabta Committee too?

It is not just about Saulat Mirza, it is about the generations of murderers and target killers that were produced; will there be no justice for the innocent lives that were brutally murdered because MQM had differences with them? A lot of questions are raised with it. Who raised these people? Who trained them? When intelligence agencies, military forces and other law enforcement agencies had proofs and they know how their network runs, why was there such a delay? Why a military government provided for them and why did they allow them to hold a militant wing? How were they able to steal from NATO containers and why didn’t Musharraf do anything about them? Why, suddenly, military has this intense desire to get rid of them? A very valid question would be, Why were they allowed to make a militant wing and why was military not concerned about innocent people dying everyday? Why is it that the law enforcement agencies do not give a damn about the common man?

I can’t sleep. My mind is wide awake and thinking too much and I can’t just stop thinking about it…



Shoaib : It’s the society that has made the whole atmosphere so tense. PPP does not have a strong hold in these areas so there won’t be any trouble here.

Me : I know.  But people are anxious to go home. It’s not like May 12th. Most of them are returning from offices and want to be home before anything happens.

We had a dawat at our place and maids were staying late to help us out when the news of the assassination of Benazir came. Our maids panicked and wanted to be home. So me and my brother went to drop them off. When my brother started the car, there wasn’t much gas in it and he told me that if we get stuck in a traffic jam, chances are that the gas will be used up.

So, we dropped our maid then decided to take the second route home. As there was a huge traffic jam on the shortest route home. Well, as we went for the second one, there were buses burning there and the road was blocked. So we decided to take another way home and again there was a traffic jam there. So we went for the fourth option. There was a bit of traffic jam, so my brother took the car on the service road and went ahead. The main road was blocked but we made a bit farther than the point where there was a traffic jam but the electric pole had been blocking the road there. So he made a U-turn, but as soon as we reached the point where there was a blockade on main road and the traffic was standing still , few guys came with sticks and stones in their hands and started breaking the windscreens and the windows of the car irrespective of the fact that there were people sitting inside. As we were on the service lane, we were not under the direct fire. My brother actually put his foot on the accelerator, and off we went. People coming from the other side, even their windscreens were cracked or broken. We got out from there and decided to go to our grandma’s.

My uncles managed to go home after two nights spending with us. Their kids were with them but the younger ones wanted their mum and they couldn’t go. Someone died in our neighbourhood, the dead-body was kept in the morgue and was buried two nights later. Just wonder how many people wanted to go to the hospital for emergencies. Without petrol or gas, how they must have suffered. How they must have seen their hard earned money being burned in a few seconds.

The whole city was burnt down, and no one was there to stop them. The government wasn’t allowing army to come in and take control. Let the common man suffer and let us torture them to death.

The burning and stoning and people looting banks and shops, most of them were not even the supporters of PPP. They just took advantage of the whole situation.

Or maybe I can come up with a better interpretation…

Were all these people being pushed by external forces and were waiting for one thing that can give them an opportunity to come spread terror?! Were they following some international agenda? or some national agenda?! The economic situation… the Israel’s PM calling… the Security Council calling a meeting… the list goes on. There’s more to the whole issue than just one assassination. The people who are anguished or are shocked do not have a free ticket to harm everyone’s property. It’s May 12th Revised and relaunched with better tactics, killing and destroying public property and paralysing the life of the city. Me and my brother were proved wrong when we thought that things wont go bad in the entire city but just some parts of it.

Though I pray for my country and my Ummah with all my heart and that’s the only thing that gives me hope. There’s the darkness of sin and ignorance everywhere.